Preteens Need More Than Just a Place—They Need a Safe Haven

Every year I look at the preteens who come through our doors and I am reminded how young they are. Sure, they talk a good game about wanting to grow up, but they are still so small and vulnerable. Many are unsure how to act and intimidated about coming into our ministry environment.  

A crucial part of having an effective preteen ministry is safety. We want preteens to grow up trusting the church, because if they can’t trust the church, they have a hard time trusting the God we preach.

When I think of safety a few areas come to mind. Physical safety is important. We should be diligent about making sure your church safety policies are followed. Your leaders should be thoroughly vetted and screened. Preteens may not care as much about this, but your parents surely will. Parents will not support your ministry if they feel that you won’t keep their kids physically safe.

Emotional safety is also important. You want to create an environment where preteens feel known, cared for and believed in. When they come into the church they should have an escape from the tough world. You can create an emotionally safe environment by:

• Making sure every preteen is known by name by at least one of your leaders. Every preteen should know that they are not just an anonymous person to your ministry. Greeting them by name as they come in communicates “We’re glad you’re here!”
• Celebrate your preteens’ quirks. It’s likely that you have a preteen in your ministry who is “different”. They might have a different personality or unique interests or lack social skills. Effective preteen ministries celebrate these quirks and, in doing so, show them that God loves them, quirks and all.
• Don’t make jokes at the expense of your preteens. Humor is crucial to creating a warm environment, but when jokes are made at the expense of a preteen the others will worry that they are next and will not feel safe. Another part of this is to not have games that embarrass students in front of others. No laugh is worth making a preteen feel small.

Put a stop to peers picking on one another. If you see one preteen picking on one another, you create safety when you don’t allow it. No person wants to be in a place where they feel that they are targeted and picked on.