A Preteen Ministry Model

Partnering with parents. Parents of preteens are in a tough spot. They feel like they go from knowing everything to knowing nothing about their child. While parents are still influential in their kids’ lives, preteens are starting to look towards outside voices to shape their development. Becoming a preteen is a transition time for students and their parents. Preteen ministries must partner with parents by helping them become guardians or “gatekeepers” of who and what has influence over their kids.

The Biblical lens. Around the preteen age, students’ brains began to change. Instead of being limited to concrete thought, they start developing the ability of abstract thought, making a student’s world less compartmentalized. Instead of knowing this is who I am at home, who I am at school, who I am with my friends, who I am at practice…the question students are starting to wrestle with is, who am I? There is a search for identity and purpose. Preteen students start seeing life more as one big picture instead of many smaller compartments. They need something to help them view this big picture, how everything fits together, and how they fit into it. Developing a Biblical Worldview early is crucial for laying a foundation of understanding who God created them to be. Preteen ministries must show them how God’s Word colors the big picture they find themselves in and how to view the world around them through the lens of Scripture.

Active programming. Play is still essential, but it doesn’t look or function like it used to. Preteen students often see themselves as older than they are. They are ready for more responsibility and taking on more mature themes of study and learning styles. But preteens also still have an element of “kid.” Their window of focus is still relatively small. The amount of information they can take in and retain is limited. Preteen students need a mix of both structured and unstructured programming – unstructured time for relational development mixed in with intentional activities and games. Applying this approach that balances children’s ministry and student ministry meets the middle-ground needs of most preteens.

Leadership development. Preteen students are often underestimated and are capable of much more than they are credited with. Raising the bar of expectation is not something they will shy away from; most will eagerly rise to the occasion.Experience plays a significant role in learning and development. Providing students with consistent opportunities to serve and lead within the ministry and church as a whole gives them a sense of belonging and ownership. Instead of simply attending church, they start seeing themselves as part of it. 

Adult leaders. The example becomes a big deal at the preteen stage. Instead of simply being told what is right, preteen students watch their leaders and look at their actions to see what is right. So, adult leaders volunteering in your ministry now take on more of a mentor role. Instead of our adult leaders being seen as “experts,” they present themselves as merely further down the road in their faith. This makes them more relatable because they are no longer considered “perfect” or having everything figured out. And because they are now more relatable, they automatically become more relational, which is where the discipleship process truly begins to take shape.

We mentioned the importance of adult volunteers last in our preteen ministry model, but that in no way makes them the least important. Without other invested adults, your preteen ministry won’t work. To lead a successful ministry, you need adult volunteers, and you need to invest in them. Let’s dig deeper into this crucial element of preteen ministry.

Adult Volunteers as Mentors

In our preteen ministries, many adult volunteers initially approach their roles with a mindset focused on “classroom management” typically associated with children’s ministries. Their primary concerns often revolve around smoothly guiding students through the Sunday school schedule, ensuring they attend lessons, snack time, and bathroom breaks. However, as our preteen students wrestle with diverse spiritual challenges and questions, it becomes increasingly apparent that a shift toward mentorship is beneficial and essential.

Historically, preteen ministries have centered on structured lessons, engaging activities, and maintaining order in the classroom. While these aspects remain integral, they only scratch the surface of what students genuinely need for their spiritual development. Adult volunteers in preteen ministry must transition from classroom management to mentorship for several reasons:

1. Relational Depth: Preteen students yearn for deeper connections and genuine relationships. Adopting a mentorship model allows leaders to invest more time and effort into cultivating meaningful connections with each student. These relationships are the cornerstone for effective discipleship, providing a nurturing environment where preteens feel comfortable asking questions, seeking guidance, and sharing their struggles.
2. Personalized Guidance: Every preteen student is unique, with strengths, weaknesses, and interests. Traditional classroom management techniques may need to be revised to address each student’s individual needs. Through mentorship, leaders can offer personalized guidance and support tailored to each student’s specific circumstances. This customized approach empowers preteen students to grow spiritually, emotionally, and socially in a manner that resonates with their distinct personalities and experiences.
3. Lifelong Impact: The influence of a mentor extends far beyond the boundaries of a classroom. Mentors impart knowledge and walk alongside students, providing unwavering support, encouragement, and wisdom as they navigate life’s challenges. The lessons learned and bonds formed during this critical developmental stage can leave an indelible mark on the lives of preteens, shaping their beliefs, values, and character for years to come.

   Transitioning from classroom management to mentorship is a deliberate effort that requires commitment and intentionality from preteen ministry leaders. It entails a shift in focus from merely controlling behavior to building meaningful relationships, from disseminating information to fostering personal growth, and from managing classrooms to nurturing hearts.

Here are some practical steps to facilitate this transition effectively:

• Training in Mentorship Techniques: Provide comprehensive training sessions for leaders to equip them with effective mentorship techniques and relational skills. This training will equip leaders to build deeper, trusting relationships with preteens.

• One-on-One Mentoring Sessions: Create opportunities for one-on-one mentoring sessions between leaders and preteens. These less-distracting settings allow for personalized guidance and support, enabling preteens to explore their faith journey in a safe and nurturing environment.

• Small Group Discussions: Encourage small group discussions among preteens that promote vulnerability, authenticity, and mutual support. These discussions provide avenues for deeper exploration of spiritual topics and foster a sense of community within the ministry.

• Supply Resources for Spiritual Exploration: Resources and materials that facilitate deeper spiritual exploration and personal reflection could include age-appropriate study guides, devotional materials, and interactive tools to engage preteen students in meaningful conversations about their faith.
• Cultivating a Culture of Mentorship: Cultivate a culture of mentorship within the broader church community, where preteen students can also find support and guidance from older mentors. Encourage intergenerational relationships and create opportunities for mentorship beyond the confines of the preteen ministry.