A complete discipleship system for leading intentional preteen and youth ministry
Walking through the front doors of a new church can bring an array of emotions. From smiles of
excitement to nervous tummy butterflies, choosing to a new church can be a big deal for both
kids as well as their parents. Research shows that most families decide if they are willing to
return to a church within the first seven minutes of their initial visit. In his book Fusion: Turning
First-Time Guests into Fully-Engaged Members of Your Church. Nelson Searcy wrote,
“Seven minutes is all you get to make a positive first impression. In the first seven minutes of
contact with your church, your first-time guests will know whether or not they are coming back.
That’s before a single worship song is sung and before a single word of the message is uttered.”
Before you let that scare you, we should ask ourselves some questions that can help determine if we are already making those seven minutes count.
Questions like:
Before any changes can be made, you need to examine what is currently being done. Maybe you feel as though your answers to the questions above are solid. Maybe you are proud of the
systems in place. Or, perhaps those questions made you squirm a bit. Even worse, what if you
don’t know the answers to those questions? The good news is, that despite where you landed on the “correct” answer scale, there is always room for improvement. In smaller churches, many times we can assume that because you may “know everyone” that first impressions do not matter.
The assumption is made that because we may know someone OUTSIDE of the church, they will
automatically feel welcomed INSIDE the church. While in larger churches, the hustle and bustle of check-in and classroom drop off may seem intuitive for visitors to just follow the flow. You are not alone in your desire to welcome and serve new families well. You also are not alone in your discomfort or confusion of not knowing how to do those things. We’ve all been there, but good leaders grow. Healthy leaders grow. Let’s take a look at four questions you can ask as you look into welcoming and serving new families within your church:
New families are just that, new. Most have never been in your
church building, so the first thing that has to be in place is signage. You cannot welcome a new family if they don’t know how to get to you. Sounds simple right? Ask yourself, your team, or even better families in your church some simple questions. “Do new families know what door to enter?” “Do they know where to check in?” A practical tip that can make an impact on this is to invite someone to do a walk through of your space through the eyes of a new family. Starting in the parking lot and transitioning all the way to each classroom or worship space, look for critical places to place signs and markers that can direct new families. Remember, there is no such thing that has too much clarification! Clarity is kindness to our new families.
While signs are necessary and important, more vital than that are the people to say “hi!” You need volunteers who high five new kids and greet adults as soon as they walk in. And you might be thinking, “I don’t have enough volunteers to staff my rooms, now I need volunteers to greet too?” Get creative! Find some older kids in your ministry that can help kids just like them feel welcome. Borrow an adult classroom helper just for check in time to greet and assist new families. You should also curate a list of simple suggestions that your volunteers can use to start conversations with families. We’ve all been there when we think we know what to say, yet when we open our mouths something awkward comes out. Or worse yet, nothing comes out at all. Ensuring volunteers know what to say to new families is key to helping those new families feel welcome and setting your volunteers up for success. Your volunteers are critical to the welcoming of new families. Providing a job description for volunteers who “just” hold open the door or print check in name tags is just as crucial to your ministry as providing a job description for those teaching classes or leading small groups.
A current trend within the church world, particularly the children’s ministry world, is curating welcome gifts for families visiting your church for the first time. These gifts do not have to be complicated or expensive. If you are looking for easy welcome gifts for kids or youth ministry, think through something to play with, something to eat, and something to grow their faith. With that gift be sure to also provide inside a way for the family to connect with your church outside of Sundays. Create an insert that has information regarding your mid-week programs, a QR code to join your church app, or even a link to your church’s social media accounts. If we want to create lasting impressions, we need to guide families to connect with us beyond the hustle and bustle of Sunday morning.
Consider asking the questions “Will a new family want to return?” “What makes our church a fit for this particular family?” Each family that walks through your doors will have their own set of needs. They may even have their own past of church hurts or a list of what they are looking for within a church. Maybe they do not know what they are looking for because your church is the first church they have ever walked into. It is our job as leaders in the church to help families know what they need. Providing families with a clear vision of who your church or children’s ministry is, what you value, and how you are in community with each other can help new families determine if they will return.
Remember, attending a new church can be overwhelming. It is our responsibility to help new families feel comfortable as much as possible by being sure they know where to go, they feel welcome, they know how to get connected and they have the information they need to decide if your church is the right fit for them. It might be tempting as ministry leaders to shy away from overloading them with information or coming on “too strong.” Remember, there is no such thing has too much clarification! Clarity is kindness to our new families.
Determining if a new family will want to return is likely the scariest part of this process because it is out of our own hands. We can do the preparation, we can put up signs, and build the perfect welcome gift however, this last part is up to the individual family. While we may not be able to do much but wait on this last part, what we can do is respond with grace and love. Spoiler alert: If your church isn’t the best fit for a family, it is okay! We can love new families well even if they do not come back. Determining the “right” fit for a family is subjective. Each “right” fit is based on every family member’s individual faith background, spiritual goals, and comfort levels. As church leaders we must do our best to welcome and serve new families without breaking the integrity of who you are as a church body. The best and simplest way to welcome and serve new families is to be who God created your church to be. Romans 15:7 tells us “Therefore, accept one another, just as Christ also accepted us, for the glory of God.” Welcoming and serving new families into your church is a privilege that you can use to glorify God when you accept them into your church for just one Sunday or for years to come.
“Beloved, you are acting faithfully in whatever you accomplish for the brothers and sisters,
and especially when they are strangers.” 3 John 1:5 (NASB)
Deep Discipleship Students is a complete curriculum and system with everything you need for ministry to junior high and high school students.
